Oh no!! Not again...

As usual, I was late this morning. In my haste, I took out the keys, threw it in my bag, took some coins (for parking), placed the blinds/covers, got out of the car, closed the door.

Then I remembered the keys.

Ayun, na lock na naman ang susi sa loob. Kamusta naman ang hassle!

The one with the Holiday

Eid ul-Fitr or Id-ul-Fitr, often abbreviated to Eid, is a Muslim holiday that marks the end of Ramadan, the Islamic holy month of fasting. Eid is an Arabic word meaning "festivity", while Fiṭr means "to break the fast" (and can also mean "nature", from the word "fitrah"); and so the holiday symbolizes the breaking of the fasting period. It is celebrated starting on the first day of the Islamic month of Shawwal.

Eid ul-Fitr is a three day celebration and is sometimes also known as the "Smaller Eid" as compared to the Eid ul-Adha that lasts four days and is called the "Greater Eid". - wikipedia

Eid started on Tuesday. Weeks before, we already have agreed to make plans for the holiday. We all wanted to go out. We agreed on going out of town. We said we'll go crabbing. That was weeks ago, when we thought that everybody would get the same holiday.

But some of my friends are required to go to work on both days so we have to change our plans. On Monday night, we agreed to go to Dreamland Aquapark. We called everyone and they were willing to adjust their schedules. My problem was, Honeycured doesn't want to change HIS schedule. Suddenly the appeal of having 2 days off wore off. I knew it would be a mess.

As soon as I got home, the argument started. And it continued till next morning (Tuesday). While doing our "errands" (which was HIS plan) we were still arguing. But somehow we managed to talk it through. So I ended up going to the beach with my friends.

They said we will pick up friend 1 and friend 2 at 12 pm. That was almost 11:30. At 1:30 I decided to call. Apparently they were almost at friend 1's place. So I said I'll pick up friend 2 and we can just meet at friend 1's and then we go all together.

When I reached #1's place, they were on their way to #2! Duh!! It was clear that we were meeting at #1. Apparently, they agreed to pick up #1 while another car fetches #2. And then they will meet me at my house which was the original plan. (I'm getting confused myself as I am writing this) Anyway, they said to meet at #2 instead so I drove. And then the made me stop coz they'll meet me wherever. It's so confusing and out of frustration I blurted out:

"Mahal na gasolina ngayon!"

Kamusta naman ang pag papa ikot ikot namin? Hilong hilo na ako! Pinuntahan namin ngayon yung isa pang couple sa bahay ni #2 na supposedly susundo sa kanya pero dahil ako ang sumundo, wala na siya dun. haller! Nung nakumpletos rekados na kami, tinawagan naman ng boss nya etong isang friend na nasa other car. Pinapasok pa. So lipat bahay si missis at sa akin sumakay. Hay finally, ready na kami.

But then again, the wife found out that she has his wallet! Tumambling na naman ako. We called and sms'd him coz the wallet has his driving license in it. So nagkita kita kaming muli, nag paalamanan at umaasang makakahabol na lang siya. Alas tres na ito.

Pagdating sa beach, wala na parking at ang daming tao. Samu't saring amoy ang nandun. May amoy bbq, amoy usok, amoy putok. Naglatag na lang kami ng banig sa may damuhan at doon kumain ng cheeseburger na kalasa ng Burger Machine. Matapos non, nagsipag langoy na sila habang ako at yung dalawang kasama ko sa sasakyan ay nag tong its.

After that, we decided to meet the husband in a mall. Eh kamusta naman ang traffic!! May fireworks display kasi. Nagpaikot ikot na naman kami. Bonamine please!!! Nang magkita kita kami sa loob, wala na din place para kumain dahil jam-packed ang mga resto. Nasabik siguro kumain ang mga hitad matapos ng pagfafasting!

We decided to go to Jollibee instead. So ok na, mag jollibee na lang tayo! When we got there, wala na din available seats. Hay.

We decided to go, TGIF. At dahil hindi ko kabisado ang daan, maka ilang beses ako napadpad sa maling lane at muntik madisgrasya sa pag mamaneho. Pati yung mag asawang sumusunod lang sa amin muntik ma aberya!

Pagdating sa paradahan, dali dali akong bumaba at kinamusta yung mga nakabuntot sa amin. Dala ng gutom at pagod, dumerecho kami sa TGIF pero hindi na pala doon kakain. Dun na lang daw sa Oriental Eklavu. BONAMINEEE!!!

Pagka upong pagka upo, umorder agad at pinag mamadali ko pa yung waiter kasi gutom na talaga. Sa haba ng table namin, nahati sa tatlo ang pag oorder. Keber na kung ready kumain ung dalawang grupo basta kami lafez na.

Minadali ko na din sila kumain kasi naman lumalalim na ang gabi. Inaantok na ako. Ayoko naman makatulog sa pagda drive! Awa ng juice, nung palabas na kami ng resto saka ko na realize wala pala ang susi ng kotse sa bag ko. Para akong binuhusan ng malamig na tubig! Nagmamadali akong lumakad patungo sa kotse ko. Waah! Nandun ang susi, buon ningning na nakasaksak.

To make matters worst, di ko pa pala napatay yung makina! haller!!!

In the end, tinawagan ko si Honeycured para dalhin ang spare key. Hay, hanggang sa huling sandali, may aberya pa din!

Leave me alone

It's that time of the month and I haven't been feeling well for the past three days. Been cranky and bitchy the whole time.

Then this morning, my male colleague decided to ask me, no... he demanded I tell him what's bothering me.

How do you say to a guy that you're PMSing without actually telling him? He was really squeezing me for answers.

"c'mon you can tell me anything."

"what's up with you?"

"tell me..."

I wanted to punch him in the nose and scream... LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

I'm so hot...me me me!!!

This is about a young girl.

I've seen her grow from a tiny cute little baby to a very shy youngster. Now she's almost grown up. (ALMOST. Yeah she'll be turning 18, considered as an adult in California and the rest of the United States but adulthood is not really determined by age. More of that here.)

Some of my closest cousins have been telling me the same thing. They are getting annoyed of her actions. Although she is a good kid. I know she is. It's just that now she's acting like Paris Hilton-oh-I'm-so-hot!-I'm-pretty-pretty-precious-pretty-me!!

I'm pretty

Woosh!!

I'm hot!

Ok! Enough already. We get that you are pretty.

I tried to intervene once. Told her that it doesn't really look nice that she has to stalk this guy or post everything in this networking site coz it does sound so desperate. I also told her not to post her full address and other personal info on the web. I told her that she's is pretty and very nice. People will love her for what she is so she doesn't have to be all narcissistic.

Oh well, being "almost" adult, she took it as if I'm insecure of her. Kamusta ka naman Ineng?

Why would I be insecure of you? You are nowhere near my accomplishments. (Kung meron man... wahaha!)

Some people just can't handle the truth. You tell them that they're going overboard and they take it negatively. As for this pretty pretty girl, she's inside her own world. Full of lies and fantasies. In there, she's the fairest of them all and everybody else is just envious. She tries so very hard to convince herself that other people (like me) who don't "dig" her, are just LOZERS!

(and what's with the street slang? and the irregular fonts? Have you forgotten how to speak and write properly, my dear? It's so not cool)

Don't be so full of yourself. The world does not revolve around you. Sige, go ahead and fantasize of how much I want to be like you.

Keep on dreaming.

Fantasy Girl

"you are a fantasy girl! I am long looking for girl, filipina girl like you. All same same. But you no look same. With body and length and face, fantastic!"

- another taxi driver who probably thought he could impress me.

Arrogant Ape!!

Being a new driver, I am very very cautious. I admit, I still need a lot to learn and super napaka dali kong maligaw. Sobrang walang sense of direction.

Anyhow, as I was entering the mall parking, tumirik yung car. Nyeeh! Tapos yung 4WD sa likod nagmamadali. Naeechas ata yun. So I quickly started the engine and carried on. Slowly making my way around the parking ... building? Hanap ng space. Shempre slowly noh! eh kung may masagi akong sasakyan.

The stupid 4WD driver behind me kept on honking and swerving. Di ko sya maintindihan!! Di marunong mag signal ang haliparot kaya ayan, di ko sya pinapansin. Basta ako hanap pa din ng pwesto.

Hanggang sa nainis na ang honeycured. Sabi nya itabi ko daw yung car at paunahin na ang 4WD. Edi ako naman sumunod. BAD MOVE!

As soon as he was in front me, nag reverse ang lolo mo! Gusto akong sagasaan. Langya talaga. Gusto pala nya mauna and then nung pina una ko na, nag sasayang naman ng oras para mambuwisit. Ayaw nya umalis. Basta dun lang siya sa unahan ko at umaatras pa din sya. Sira ulo talaga.

Honeycured confronted the guy. Turns out, local ito. As in Emirati. Bakit ko daw siya hindi pinapadaan, mabagal daw ako, kinukupal ko siya blah blah. This guy's ego is the size of a house!!
So Honeycured tried to explain na bagong driver lang and wala naman violation. Alam mo ba kung anong eksena ang ginawa ng lolo mo?

Emirati: If she is new driver, don't let her drive. Not in the city. NOT IN THIS COUNTRY!!

Yabang mo! Leche ka. If not for expats, you would be nothing. Your country would be nothing. Asians made your country. If not for people like us, baka disyerto pa din bansa mo. leche ka talaga.

wheew!

-----

He also said, he works for the police and he has my registration number.

SO EFFIN WHAT?!!

arrogant ape. >:(

U Turn

5:45 p.m. yesterday.
23 December 2007

I was waiting for a cab and thinking... "I'll be stuck here, no one would take me home..its rush hour"

Luckily, a cab driver stopped. He's old and by the looks of it, he doesn't speak english much. So I told him where I want to go. I also thanked him for taking me instead of speeding off just like other drivers do.

When we were near my place, I told him... "Signal, U Turn"

That's usually how we talk to drivers. short and direct. no need to elaborate especially this one doesn't really understand a lot of english words.

What followed made my blood pressure shoot up.

Driver: What?!
Me: Signal, u turn.
Driver: U turn u turn. What u turn?
Me: U turn. At the signal. Signal, make a u turn.
Driver: Signal!! signal I know. turn turn shu??
Me: U turn! (making gestures already...he doesn't seem to understand what I'm trying to say...)
Driver: Come back!! come back, u turn u turn.
Me: U turn! You don't know U turn? U turn, like this.... (hand gestures again)
Driver: Come back. Come back! You no know. You wrong!!
Me: You wrong. You dont know U turn, from where you get license??
Driver: (says something in Arabic) You wrong! (arabic again)
Me: Habibi! Don't shout. Don't ever shout at me.
Driver: I'm no shout! I'm talk to you!
Me: Yes you are shouting. I will show you U turn. (nilabas ko nga yung manual ko ng driving...)
Driver: Me no look! You wrong.
Me: You wrong. Look at this. This U turn.
Driver: no looking. You wrong.


At tuluyan na akong na imbyerna. Parang lahat ng dugo ko nasa ulo ko na. I had to take deep breaths. Bakit ba kasi ako nakikipag talo dito sa matandang to.

After making that U turn, he asked where to go.

Me: Service road.
Driver: What?!!!
Me: Service road. inside... (mukhang magtatalo na naman kami)
Driver: speak slowly slowly! (ayun naman pala, hindi makasunod sa sinasabi ko)
Me: Ser - vice - roaaaad.
Driver: Service road...ok. (may halong pagka yamot, para bang sinasabi na service road lang pala kung ano ano pa sinabi mo)

Sino ba ang mali sa amin? hay. Sa susunod magdadala na ako ng mga placards at ipapakita ko na lang yung road signs. Ayoko na makipag usap!

I got henna... again!

This only shows how stupid I am for getting another henna tat done. And the sad part is, I had to pay a lot for it. Goodness!

I was supposed to get something like this:
But somehow I don't think it went well coz this is how Honeycured reacted:

"ano ba?! magpapa henna ka lang letter H pa, hindi na lang S para initials mo."

hayz.

I am an OFW, thank you very much.

I just recently came upon this disturbing article from People Asia Mag. Yes, you might have heard of this brouhaha before (I know, I’m super late…but as they say: better late than later… nyahaha!) I’m talking about the so-called article written by --- wait for it --- MALU FERNANDEZ. Yep, that’s the one. This is probably what she wants to happen, for everybody to talk about her. But what the heck, I’m going to post my 2 cents.

For those who has yet to see the article that “rocked” the blogging world and the lives of many OFW’s such as myself, you can click the following (or just google the name…she’s got tons of “fans”)

Link 1

Link 2

She said:

“To save on my ticket, I bravely took an economy class seat on Emirates a recommended by my travel agent. Ron excitedly told me to go for it – Emirates had won best economy class and some award. However I forgot that the hub was in Dubai and the majority of the OFWs (overseas Filipino workers) were stationed there. The duty-free shop was overrun with Filipino workers selling cell phones and perfume. Meanwhile, I wanted to slash my wrist at the thought of being trapped in a plane with all of them.”

Hmmm, if you’re so rich, why fly economy? You knew economy would be “hell”. But what do you expect, girl? You’re flying from Manila, it follows that most of the passengers would be Filipinos (especially in coach). DUH!!?

OFW’s. working in Dubai. Selling perfume and cell phones. What’s wrong with that?? These people are working their asses off just to give their families back home better lives. It’s a decent job. In fact, they only sell products. They sell, you buy…they get paid. You on the other hand, had to mock them in your article so you would get paid. P A T H E T I C (yeah, you should have slashed your wrist..maybe something good will happen)

She said:

“While I was on the plane (where the seats were so small I had bruises on my legs), my only consolation was the entertainment on the small flat screen in front of me. But it was busted, so I heaved a sigh, popped my sleeping pills and dozed off to the sounds of gum chewing and endless yelling of “HOY! Kumusta ka na? At taga saan ka? Domestic helper ka rin ba?” Translation: “Hey there? Where are you from? Are you a domestic helper as well?” I thought I had died and God had sent me to my very own private hell.”

Let me tell you something, I use Emirates every time. Only Emirates. Hell, I agree that seats are small in economy. THAT’S WHY IT’S CALLED ECONOMY!! They compressed everything so more passengers could board.

I am a big girl. I stand 5 feet and 9 inches tall, weighs 215 lbs. (there, I said it. As much as I want to deny it, I am a bit overweight. But I’m working on it. Hahaha). I am big. I am tall. Flying economy for me is terrible. It’s too much for me. But I don’t complain (not out loud at least). Because I do not have the right to complain! I can only afford economy, that’s it. But you know what? I’m one of the few who could afford to buy economy class tickets at least once a year to visit my family. Most OFW’s can’t afford that. They’d save up for 2 – 3 years before they could see their families again. You know what is sad? A lot of us would rather not go home at all so we could save the money for more important things.

We fight our battles everyday. Homesickness. Tough working environment. Weird laws that change every time you blink. So, you think that flying economy with OFW’s is your private hell… think of our hell on earth. Besides, sa tingin ko, hindi ganyan ang impyerno na ibibigay sayo.

Isa pa, I’ve been working in Dubai for almost 5 years already. I have been on board Emirates (economy class) with other OFW’s countless times already. I tell you, I have never heard them talk the way you describe it. Sobrang exaggeration iyan neng. Try mo magbawas ng pills baka sakali tumigil ang hallucinations mo.

She said:

“On my way back, I had to bravely take the economy flight once more. This time I had resigned myself to being trapped like a sardine in a sardine can with all these OFWs smelling of Axe and Charlie cologne while my Jo Malone evaporated into thin air.”

Ano ba talaga ginawa ng mga OFWs sayo? Ginahasa ka ba o minolestya? (nyih, kadiri naman yung gumawa non)

I don’t know Charlie, I don’t know Jo Malone (tao ba tong mga to??). I do know Axe, in fairness mabango naman to. I admit, I don’t know much when it comes to perfume. I’m contented with my Victoria’s Secret Cologne that I buy in Karama, 3 for 100 AED. I do have branded stuff like Gucci, Chanel, and Davidoff. All of them are gifts. I’m not complaining. I’m lucky and I’m thankful for my blessings. You should really do that, Malu. Reflect and be thankful that you are where you are. That you have what you have. But don’t ever forget, pare pareho lang tayong produkto ng third world country. Wag mo ilagay sa ulo mo yung pera mo neng…not good.

And you say you have a target audience. I say…wala na ngayon. Sa dami ng galit sayo malamang iniiwasan ka na din ng mga kamag anak mo. Besides, hindi ka cute. Kung nagpapatawa ka, hindi ka kalbo. Only bryanboy can pull off a stunt like this. Remember that!

p.s.
Alam mo ba kung anong joke dito sa Dubai ngayon?? Kaya nag evaporate ang Jo Malone mo kasi fake! nyahaha.

p.s. ulit

Pasensha na po kung may mga grammatical errors, di naman kasi ako journalist/writer. =D

estupido 101

Kay aga aga, pinaiinit ang ulo ko ng isang call center agent. 31st ngayon. Araw ng sweldo. At dahil sa mga pangyayari na hindi ko maiwasan, ang atm card ko ay hindi pa nadedeliver, meaning...PANO AKO MAGWIWITHDRAW?!!

Anyhow, that's not the issue. I called the bank early this morning to check kung pumasok na yung salary ko. (as if may magagawa ako kung nandun siya ... di ko nga magagalaw until dumating ang atm. at tinatamad naman ako pumunta sa main branch. heheh)

Agent: Thank you for calling (bank name), this is (chuva) speaking. How may I help you today?

(take note, sa accent ng taong ito...di maipagkakailang pilipino)

Me: I would like to know the balance in my account.

Agent: Sure ma'am. Can I have your account number please.

Me: It's xxxxxxxxxx.

Agent: Okey Ms. Sheila. Just for verification purposes I will ask some questions. What is your date of birth.

Me: It's xx XX xxxx.

Agent: Where did you open the account?

Me: main branch? (wit ako sure, isang lulurking agent din ang nag open ng account ni atashi... Hala! Wanda ikaw ba yan?)

Agent: ok, how much is your balance?

Me: HOW WOULD I KNOW? THAT'S THE REASON WHY I CALLED!

Agent: yes ma'm, but for verification...how much is your balance...approximately?

Me: I DON'T KNOW!

Agent: rough estimate....?

Me: ugh! about (insert amount here)....

Agent: alright miss sheila, your account has a balance of (amount). Thank you for calling, is there anything I could hel....

BLAGAG!

putanescang agent yun. pinag iinit ulo ko. bagsakan ko nga ng phone. tatawag ba naman ako kung alam ko?

Parang nagbayad ka ng 100 sa cashier at itatanong, wala kayong barya? SUSMARYA, ibabayad ko ba yan kung meron?!!